Are Men Better Than Women?

We spent our time together 1) realizing that masculinity is misunderstood and under attack and 2) trying to understand and commit to the biblical view of masculinity.

However, we didn't get to spend any time describing femininity and the difference between the two genders. And so the incredibly important question arises: are men better than women?

Here's my answer in vague complexity: "No." Let me try again with restatement: "No."

The Bible states in no unclear terms that male and female are made equal and together in the image of God (Gen. 1.27). And we are each invited personally to a relationship with Christ and are saved equally and perfectly through Him (Gal. 3.28). In fact, we see in Genesis that "It is not good for man to be alone." (Gen. 2.18) Masculinity by itself is incomplete, so God made, literally, the perfect helper or completion: the woman. Womanhood and femininity is to be honored and protected.

The Bible speaks clearly that men are not greater in value than women. And men who think so don't get their prayers heard (1 Peter 3.7). "Women" aren't to submit to "men". We are not to dominate or domineer - ever.

However, the great question for our day is this: "Does equality negate authority?" Because it seems that the Bible unequivocally gives men the authority that comes with the primary responsibility in certain relationships. Consider Ephesians 5.22-33, Colossians 3.18, 1 Peter 3.1-6, and 1 Timothy 2.11-3.7.

Egalitarians say that equality negates authority and that there is no such thing as primary responsibility in gender roles and that submission in gender roles comes only from our fall into sin. I'll respond to this briefly.

In Galatians 3.28 (the egalitarian's favorite verse), "there is no such thing as male or female in Christ." This would seem to perhaps negate things like "the husband being the head of the wife" as found in Ephesians 5. But Galatians 3 is not talking about gender roles, marriage, or church leadership, though it will certainly have its implications. Galatians 3.28 is saying that our righteousness is perfect in Christ and that no human distinction can mar the sufficiency of salvation in him. But does this "equality in Christ" negate authority?

Let me ask: who is more valuable in Christ, me or one of my parishoners? Am I "better"? No, we are equal in Christ. But who has greater authority in the church? I do. Equality in value does not negate difference in role.

Another question: who is more valuable, the Father or the Son? A ridiculous question, right? They are equal in essence, nature, and "God-ness." And yet 1 Cor. 11.3 has this:

But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.

The head of Christ is God. The Son, though equal, submits to the authority of the Father (see 1 Corinthians 15.20-28).

We learn a lot here. For instance:
1. Submission is not an evil product of the fall. Submission had no beginning but is a glorious part of the Trinity.
2. Our gender roles glorify the relationship of the Triune God and are therefore glorious and important.

Men are not better than women. The two genders have equal value and worth in being made in the image of God together. However, in their equality, the genders are different in role as the Bible defines.

More questions? Ask...and look here:

Fifty Crucial Questions: An Overview of Central Concerns About Manhood and Womanhood

Thoughts on the Emergent Church

If you are curious about "emergent", you've got to listen to this message given by Mark Dricoll at SEBTS.

Learning Discernment

One of our greatest challenges as men is discernment. It (wisdom) is also one of our responsibilities. So here's something for your ipod and a challenge: don't waste your exercise, bathroom, or any other "empty" time. Instead, grow in your discernment by listening to these from Sovereign Grace Ministries:

Discernment (Joshua Harris)

Discern Your Doctrine (Mark Dever)

Discern Your Culture (Albert Mohler)

Discern Your Heart (C.J. Mahaney)

Discern the Graymatters (Eric Simmons)

Discern What Pleases God: Himself (John Piper)

Discern What Pleases God: Personal Obedience (John Piper)

Discern How to Apply (C.J. Mahaney)

Matt's Top Three:
1. Mahaney's on discerning the heart
2. Piper's
3. Simmon's on discerning the gray

I look forward to your comments and questions.

Some Thoughts Regarding Female Friends

Kevin asked these excellent questions:

Matt mentioned acting appropriately in all of our relationships with women, and we discussed our dating relationships, but what should we do about those friendships we have with women when there is no interest in dating? what can be done to watch the 'line' and guard our hearts as well as theirs in the way we conduct ourselves? Is there even a line of conduct to watch besides the obvious? And what can we do when dealing with those that may already have feelings for us when we don't share them, but don't want to breach the relationship?

I want to remind us of our guiding definition (listed below), highlighting two things: We have a benevolent responsibility to...protect. What is our responsibility towards our female friends?

1 Timothy 5.2 exhorts, "[Treat] younger women as sisters, in all purity."

Contextually speaking, Paul is certainly talking about the ladies of similar age, as the "older women" were to be treated as "mothers". So there is our mandate and responsibility - treat them as sisters, in all purity.

One thing we ought to do with our sisters is protect them. From what? Well, in the fog of co-ed friendship, the first thing we ought to be "watchful" of is protecting our sisters from ourselves. I can think of two errors to which we are prone. They are: 1) A lack of purity in our motives and 2) a lack of clarity in our communication.

1. Dirty Motives

We must always be ruthless in asking ourselves, "What are my motives here?" What do you desire in this relationship? Does it stroke your ego? Do you find your fun in flirting? Do you like the hugs and 'indadvertant' bumps? Be careful, my friends, for the heart is deceitful. Of course, we know what our motive ought to be: the glory of God. So we must ask, "How can Jesus be honored here?"

Two principles: a) Jesus is honored when we give up our own interests for the best good of another. b) Jesus is honored when we honor marriage and the marriage bed (Heb. 13.4), and we are not married to our sisters, but rather want to preserve them (in as far as it is up to us) for their future spouse(s).

The details to consider are endless, but the guiding principle is clear: honor Jesus and make sure your motives are pure.

2. Mucky Communication

The second error to combat is the kind of wishy-washy, unclear communication that is unfit for any real man. Honestly, how often do we lead ladies to believe things that are untrue about our intentions through our subtleties and non-verbals? Males are quick to implicate the ladies for this kind of thing, but we are not innocent (especially those of us who listen well and can play music).

I love a man who is able and willing to communicate clearly. Paul guides us to 1) speak the truth in love (Eph. 4.15) and 2) speak grace that builds up (Eph. 4.29).

Fellas, when the relationship gets murky, you are the one who is responsible to, with love and maturity, speak the truth and lead the relationship back to reality. Don't ever lead a woman on. That is lying. Don't ever give her nonverbal communication that says more than your words. Protect her heart and be clear as best as you can.

Remember: no abdication or domination - only benevolent responsibility to the glory of God.

Continuing the Conversation

Hey fellas!

It was an honor and a blast to spend the weekend with you. This here blog is an attempt to continue the thought process by providing a forum for question-answer and discussion.

Simply click 'comments' to (guess what) leave a comment or question. I will moderate, give thoughts, and provide resources as best I can. I'll also try to make the place look a little better as we go.

I look forward to hearing from you!

-Matt